Monday, August 17, 2009



There are a lot of things happened. I keep losing control of my temper recently. I miss the days we spent in the hometown. that is the perfect life i always looking forward to. Because he can balance the time with me, family and friends.

Recently, he does not spend a lot o
f time with me. I'm not requesting too much. I just feel unhappy and upset. He always say he accompanies me a lot. But in fact, when i was by his side, he always do his own things like dota with friends, watch online novels, msn with friends...We have very little time for private time~ Almost every weekend I go back home, I give him a lot of spaces and freedom for doing his own stuffs and accompanies friends especially 2 days of weekend and every night. For the daylight time, we go to different lecture. We have only one lecture is the same. So when is our private time? very little.

Yesterday night, something made me angry again. To guys, they will always think it was just a trivial matter. He said he never asked me along ytd cuz wanna have guys talk like dota debrief. But I hv really gave him many spaces for friends..Still not enough? When did I forbid him to interact with friends? But it was really too much. As his gf, I will feel lonely. Somemore, I just hope he can at least let me know when he is away. I always could not reach his hp. After I found out he went to eat supper and those friends are my close friends too! Do u understand why I gave such a big response? Guys talk? But there are gals too. Even though those gals were not calling by him, but that gathering is not counted as guys talk d..isn't it? I am his girlfriend...but friends always have priority.

I never snatch him away... Cuz I swear he spend everyday or even every seconds with friends~ Who cares about me? There are always some ppl tembak me about too sticky...but now I have changed a lot..I just need some cares and loves..and also private time with my boyfriend, is it too much?

I know he never scared I would leave him. From his response ytd when i asked this question, I know the answer. Sad... I dunno how long and how much I can take it. Why? Why everytime my love is not perfect? and totally different from what I expect. I hope my relationship can be as normal as other couples. I dun care how capable how rich how high the status my boyfriend is, I just need a boyfriend who really loves me, cares about me, dotes on me and needs me very much. That is what a girl wants.

I have also spend time with friends. But I know how to balance it. I will not give either boyfriend or friends priority. Cuz both are equally important to me. My friends give me spaces, my boyfriend gives me freedom too.

Sometimes I will envy other couples, I'm not comparing them, I just feel that why my relationship cannot be simple? My boyfriend is different. Our thinking also slightly different. I cannot take it. I worry I cannot take it anymore. Almost everytime when I need him by my side, he will not be there and accompanies friends. I'm very upset and disappointed. Cuz there is always someone else by my side when I was down. I dun want such a thing happens again. I dun like the feeling that always being left out. Everyday different friends emo, then he needs to acc different ppl. I wanna ask..when is my turn? anyone knows the answer?

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