Recently I watch "The Fierce Wife"(犀利人妻) drama as my friend(who also his friend) suggested me to watch it.
He says it will be useful for me to get through this period.
Yes, I can understand. I, myself, also make this kind of mistake in my life.
A person who fall in love accidentally with someone else, will never ever realized the mistake, won't admit and eventually push the fault to the other half.
The person will find the other half getting more annoying, and find the girl who suddenly appeared in his/her life more attractive and understand him.
He/She will start finding excuses to love the new one, I know, it's not on purpose, people just follow their heart and forgotten the other half who always stood by them.
When a person loving two persons at same time, eventually he will choose the latter, cuz if he loved the first one, he wouldn't fall in love with the latter.
He wouldn't admit it forever. But I could feel it when I was tgt with him.
His eyes when looking at her, is different from looking at me, it's so much gentler, and also keep searching where she is during the award lunch.
His expression is so much happier and blissful when sms with her, travel with her in Phuket, hang out with her.
His worries about her when in JB, when she got molested in MRT, when she wanna take MRT back around 9pm++...and so forth...
His sharing of McDonald promotion with her, instead of with me..
He keeps sms-ing when dating with me, when I was just stand beside him..
He keeps mentioning her in front of me which I find it miserable..but he looked so happy..
He requested me wear formally to work which exactly same as how she wears, but for my job, I don't need this, cuz working in lab..He just couldn't understand..
There were so much changes after he worked. We used to be really sweet and innocent couple.
Maybe it's just one-sided love from the beginning.
I felt the happiness and his cares, maybe he couldn't?
From the drama, I realized too much concerns for someone is just another kind of stress to him.
Too good to someone will make him more take it for granted. He wouldn't appreciate.
People likes 新鲜感。But I totally disagree with this.
We should learn to accept simple n plain life after 热恋期,and be loyal to our other half
We should not keep pursuing 新鲜感，like that how to settle down? how to build a healthy family?
I just want a healthy and simple family like what I possess from my parents now.
Or maybe I am too picky, making myself suffer.
I always fall in love with someone who doesn't suitable for me and I couldn't make them love me deeply too.
Maybe I should really choose someone who loves me more than I do.
Love cannot be forced. Betray mentally is much more serious than betray physically.
Well, I experienced both in my previous two relationships.
Now I realized, betray mentally makes me much more miserable, cuz he wouldn't come back to me.
His love, his concerns, his worries, his gentleness, his everything, even his body, also belong to her.
Well, for betray physically, he still come back to me cuz he still love me, concerns me,worry about me.
But of course, I wouldn't forgive both.
My life is so "happening". Any kind of hurts also happen to me and make me experience it.
Betraying is too horrible. My heart couldn't take it anymore.
I just want a simple love and life. I could feel that I do really grew up from this hurtful relationship.
It's too much for me, really... Please, no more please...
I just wish to be happy...
8 months ago