真的累了

雨又在下了
看外面又湿了
我一直等着
让屋里灯都亮着
这样伤心的睡了
这样压抑的醒了
想着你又来了
可该变的都变了
而孤独是什么
心冷是什么
情是什么
你是什么
我不要再想了
我已经倦了
我不想再唱了
我已经哭了
想陪你坐着
想听你说着
想知道我值得
以为我们还爱着
把窗户都开着
风也是凉的
我一个人唱歌
声音也变成冷的
而孤独是什么
心冷是什么
情是什么
你是什么
我不要再想了
我已经倦了
我不想再唱了
我已经哭了
而孤独是什么
心冷是什么
情是什么
你是什么
我不要再想了
我已经倦了
我不想再唱了
我已经哭了
我不想再唱了
我已经哭了
雨又在下了

回忆起今年的生日

今天刚刚考完最后一张测验，可是即将来临的年末考快把我给压死了，压力真的很大很大~
看完了第十集的《是美男啊》，静静地想起很多东西~也想起了我今年在他家里庆祝的生日~呵呵~
虽然礼物不是当天收到的，可是她却做了很浪漫的事情~

第一个惊喜:



































第二个惊喜:

他很好笑耶，自己在颈项上绑了个蝴蝶结说自己是我的生日礼物~哈哈哈~其实它真正给我的生日礼物是一个女性钱包，很贵很漂亮~很心痛那个钱~感动死了~T.T





























第三个惊喜:



这是他在我生日的前几天送给我的情侣戒指~没错的话，应该是在KL的Time Square买的吧！呵呵~^.^

是时候去读书了！！待会儿还要跟怡雯去吃sushi呢！呵呵~~~tata...

Introduction of You Are Beautiful

Recently I fall in love with An.Jell!! They are a band from a korean series called You're Beautiful~是美男啊or原来是美男~The storyline is very attractive!! Ever since the taiwanese drama , this is the second drama made me addicted in it! This is one of the best drama i ever watched! The soundtrack are really awesome every episode are differently songs which is totally hooked and make me sing too~~It’s been long time since I’ve felt this level of excitement and anticipation bout a drama. I adore every episode which are excellent example of quality dramas. All the cast perfect are portrayed their character perfectly esp Park Shin Hye, Jang Geun Suk, Lee Hongki, Jung Yong Hwa also the president and the manager are really one of kind role.

Even though they are not the most handsome or prettiest celebrities, but they have their own way to attract ppl~~~Goodbye Goo Jun Pyo and Hello Hwang Tae Kyung!!! hehehe~~~

Below are the introduction of this drama:

Trailer 1-Please click me^.^
Trailer 2-Please click me^.^

This the first public performance of A.N. JELL!!

Title: 미남이시네요 / You’re Beautiful
Chinese Title : 原来是美男啊
Also known as: You’re Handsome, A.N.JELL
Genre: Romance, comedy
Episodes: 16
Broadcast Network: SBS
Broadcast period: 2009-Oct-07 to 2009-Nov-26
Air time: Wednesday & Thursday 21:55

Synopsis

Tae Kyung and On Yu are in search of a new member for their idol group, A.N.JELL. However, Mi Nam suffers an injury at the last moment. So Mi Nyu, his twin sister, is asked to step in for her brother. The rest of the drama follows the behind-the-scenes life of an idol group.

Cast

Jang Geun Suk as Hwang Tae Kyung
Park Shin Hye as Go Mi Nam / Go Mi Nyu
Lee Hong Ki as Kang On Yu / Jeremy
Jung Yong Hwa as Kang Shin Woo

Extended cast

UEE as Yoo He Yi
Bae Geu Rin as Sa Yu Ri (Fan club president)
Kim In Kwon as Ma Hoon Yi (Mi Nam’s manager)
Choi Ran as Choi Mi Ja (Mi Nam & Mi Nyu’s aunt)
Kim Sung Ryung as Mo Haw Ran
Jung Chan as President Ahn
Choi Soo Eun as Wang Kko Di

Production Credits

Director: Hong Sung Chang
Screenwriter: Hong Jung Eun & Hong Mi Ran

　　韩剧《是美男啊》讲述了10多岁偶像组合成员的成长 过程以及围绕他们发生的爱情和纠葛。讲述了农村出身的淳朴少年偶然成为偶像组合的一员后所经历的各种故事。通过张根锡饰演的男主演的成长历程，向人们展示 了少年偶像们普通人的一面和他们在华丽的舞台背后经历的鲜为人知的痛苦。而朴信惠则是将一人饰演两个双胞胎兄妹，与张根锡上演浪漫爱情戏。

　　[剧名]:是美男啊/原来是美男

　　[英文名]:Ah yes Fumio

　　[播送]:韩国SBS

　　[首播]:2009年10月7日

　　[时间]:每周三四晚北京时间20点50分各播放一集

　　[导演]:洪成昌（《人间市场》《土地》《再次微笑》《媳妇儿和少奶奶》《相爱的好日子》）

　　[编剧]:洪静恩、洪美兰（洪氏姐妹）（《豪杰春香》《My Girl》《快刀洪吉童》《幻想情侣》）

　　[主演]:张根锡 李弘基 朴信惠 郑勇华 金宥真 金成铃 郑灿 金仁权 崔兰 崔秀 恩裴格 林太皇

　　[集数]:16集

You can watch online follow the link below:
Watch online with English subtitile
Watch online with Chinese subtitle

And can also listen to the songs in OST!! Below are the music videos of the OST!!
OST-Please click me^.^

I am so loving this drama, it has easily become one of my fave, lose count already how many times I’ve watched each and every episodes just to pass the time till Wednesday comes again….this really is one of the best Kdrama ever, got a great storyline/plot, got an amazing actors/actresses from the main down to the supporting ones, got an amazing OST too!…just loooooveeee JGS singing voice….I don’t know how those ratings were taken but one thing is certain - this drama is a must see. Never a dull moment.

After watching Boys Over Flowers I thought it is the only one great romance comedy for 2009 I was wrong this series Your beautiful is so Wonderful too fun to watch and everything the acting top notch of three guys are such amazing actors for their generation. Park Shin Hye is beautiful and funny.

I just can’t think of the twist that this story will bring… im really anxious!!! The song without words is really captivating… i wanna hear it everytime.. huhu.. its full of emotions..It’s the only series I’ve watch this year that I wasn’t skipping scenes.

Haiz....I shud end my blog here! Cuz i'm going to watch the latest episode now! Episode 9~After that, must study ler.......sobs sobs....

堕落

最近好懒惰 也很没心情 到底是怎么了
每天计划好要完成的事都没有心去做
不是看戏不然就是上网
这样好颓废没用
我该怎样找到我的动力来读书
comm的东西又让我烦恼
总觉得压力很大 什么事情都不顺心
也很想一直把自己关起来
不出去 不说话 不想逼自己笑
好想就这样一个人静一静
好希望什么烦恼都没有
可是我很讨厌现在的自己
真的很没用 像个废物一样
动力，你到底在哪里？
我已经厌倦了那些在大家面前要勉强笑的生活
不喜欢戴着面具过日子
我想做回我自己
我想要过自己想要的生活
我想要没有规划随心所欲地生活
但 我知道
这是永远都不可能的

消逝的友情。幸福的爱情。

好久没来写部落格了~最近很忙，很多comm的东西要处理~尤其是GLC要到了，mid term test全部都在同一天，还有report要赶~我真的觉得我人生开始混乱~很怕这个sem会因为CCA而fail我的modules~一天24小时真的不够用~



我的爱情渐渐上了轨道~还蛮开心的。也许我经常只是写吵架的部分，很少和大家分享比较甜蜜的部分所以让很多人觉得我在爱情里是很被动的。呵呵。其实经过了8个月后，我觉得现在比以前稳定许多。而且是比较成熟性的恋爱~看起来我们很粘可是其实我们都常常会有自己的个人空间。在房间里一起读书或者他玩他的多大，我忙我自己的活动。甜言蜜语只是一些外在促进感情的调味品，但其实我们的心里慢慢达成共识。在大家面前，我觉得我们都很爱面子，哈哈，不会说一些很喜欢对方的话，一直斗嘴，可是私底下其实还是蛮甜蜜的。


在这场恋爱，我不知道我们可以一起走到多久~我不能给一个肯定也无法给一个承诺更无法确定我们之间会有“永远”这个约定，毕竟很多事情是我们无法预料的。但是至少在我们彼此心里，目前的我们是很希望可以有未来，但是还是得看缘份。


跟他在一起后，我发现自己改变了很多很多~最近听秋秋darling说我成熟了很多，她跟我聊心事后觉得舒服了很多，我听了后觉得很欣慰，我终于也有长大的一天~哈哈~其实yonglee教会了我很多很多道理，虽然不是每件事他都是对的，但是至少有些事情让我成长，也让我变得比较看得开也比较大方，想法也开放了一些。但是跟他比起来我还是比较保守的。


不安的感觉还是会一直存在。因为我才21岁，对将来的事情都抱着不肯定的态度，也很担心我们会有分开的一天，但是我对他的信任一天比一天增加更多，我相信只要双方都抱着这样的态度努力维持感情应该可以做到的。



我不知道我上辈子做了什么坏事，老天爷要这样对我，总觉得我的人生一直会遇到和朋友反目成仇的事情。重点是我什么都没有做。也许我的想法和我男朋友差不多，我觉得很多东西是应该要体谅和大方，不能为了小事吃醋。如果我为了一点点很小的事情吃醋，yonglee一定会觉得我很幼稚，但我认同，所以我也变得不喜欢这种幼稚的行为。逐渐地我也变得比较可以接受很多事情。男女之间是可以纯友情的。至少我对得起自己的良心因为全世界的人都知道我只对我的男朋友专一~虽然我有很多可以聊心事的男性朋友可是完全是纯友谊，而且我跟男生朋友做什么yonglee都会知道，他都觉得很正常没什么。所以我也不明白我做错什么让一对情侣经常为了我吵架。而且这件事严重到我同时失去两个曾经都是跟我很要好的朋友。一个是可以聊心事的朋友，一个是可以一起十指紧扣出去逛街的朋友。


很多事情都在改变。我也不知道我自己真正的知心朋友是谁？因为这件事对我造成的影响很大。我不敢再相信任何友情。朋友随时会因为爱情误会我讨厌我然后连打招呼都做不到。以前中学时也发生类似的事，我也是什么都没有做，就因为一个男生而一起杯葛我。我的人生难道就遇不到一个能真正了解我的为人明白我的好朋友吗？


在我心里，家人永远是第一名，无可取代。不管是爱情还是友情，随时都会有离开我的危机。我不能太依赖友情和爱情。很害怕，到最后受重伤的还是我自己。

幸福背后的辛酸

There are a lot of things happened. I keep losing control of my temper recently. I miss the days we spent in the hometown. that is the perfect life i always looking forward to. Because he can balance the time with me, family and friends.



Recently, he does not spend a lot of time with me. I'm not requesting too much. I just feel unhappy and upset. He always say he accompanies me a lot. But in fact, when i was by his side, he always do his own things like dota with friends, watch online novels, msn with friends...We have very little time for private time~ Almost every weekend I go back home, I give him a lot of spaces and freedom for doing his own stuffs and accompanies friends especially 2 days of weekend and every night. For the daylight time, we go to different lecture. We have only one lecture is the same. So when is our private time? very little.



Yesterday night, something made me angry again. To guys, they will always think it was just a trivial matter. He said he never asked me along ytd cuz wanna have guys talk like dota debrief. But I hv really gave him many spaces for friends..Still not enough? When did I forbid him to interact with friends? But it was really too much. As his gf, I will feel lonely. Somemore, I just hope he can at least let me know when he is away. I always could not reach his hp. After I found out he went to eat supper and those friends are my close friends too! Do u understand why I gave such a big response? Guys talk? But there are gals too. Even though those gals were not calling by him, but that gathering is not counted as guys talk d..isn't it? I am his girlfriend...but friends always have priority.



I never snatch him away... Cuz I swear he spend everyday or even every seconds with friends~ Who cares about me? There are always some ppl tembak me about too sticky...but now I have changed a lot..I just need some cares and loves..and also private time with my boyfriend, is it too much?



I know he never scared I would leave him. From his response ytd when i asked this question, I know the answer. Sad... I dunno how long and how much I can take it. Why? Why everytime my love is not perfect? and totally different from what I expect. I hope my relationship can be as normal as other couples. I dun care how capable how rich how high the status my boyfriend is, I just need a boyfriend who really loves me, cares about me, dotes on me and needs me very much. That is what a girl wants.



I have also spend time with friends. But I know how to balance it. I will not give either boyfriend or friends priority. Cuz both are equally important to me. My friends give me spaces, my boyfriend gives me freedom too.



Sometimes I will envy other couples, I'm not comparing them, I just feel that why my relationship cannot be simple? My boyfriend is different. Our thinking also slightly different. I cannot take it. I worry I cannot take it anymore. Almost everytime when I need him by my side, he will not be there and accompanies friends. I'm very upset and disappointed. Cuz there is always someone else by my side when I was down. I dun want such a thing happens again. I dun like the feeling that always being left out. Everyday different friends emo, then he needs to acc different ppl. I wanna ask..when is my turn? anyone knows the answer?

突然觉得很寂寞

If I were blue, would you be there for me,

And whisper in my ears that's okay.

Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,

And say you love me one more time.



If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,

And touch my lips with tender loving care,

Would you die for me, would you run with me,

And never look back..



Would you be there to love, to be with me?

Would you swear that your love is always true?

Would you say that you'll always be the one,

to take my breath away?



Would you be there..



If I will wait, would you still think of me,

And wished that you could hold me now.

Would you die for me, would you run with me,

All the way..



Would you be there to love, to be with me?

Would you swear that your love is always true?

Would you say that you'll always be the one,

to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight?

Would you swear that your love is always true?

Would you say that you'll always be there,

to kiss my pain away..



Would you be there?

For me...

不正常的变化

好久没来写部落格了。。。每天都有不同的事情发生，但是最让我感到意外的却不是爱情的问题。感觉很多事情局外人根本不明白事情的真相而只对表面做出很极端的结论。为什么一对情侣分手，提出分手的那个人永远都是坏人~而那个必须接受事实的人却是被同情的。表面上，局外人只会把我当坏人看待，觉得我不好。可是我已经不爱那个人了，难道我就必须为了当好人而一直让自己不快乐到永远吗？你们到底有没有站在我的立场想过？

重点是，大家曾经都是那么好的朋友，我们都互相帮忙，我用我最真诚的心跟大家做朋友。结果一个我的私人事情就这样对我？表面上大家看起来都很好，对我很客气，可是我每次想起当初是多么的要好时我就觉得心痛。我谈一个恋爱都要受到冷眼旁观，难道就不能做真心的朋友吗？为什么我的感情生活的决定都要被左右？很不快乐，我真的很不快乐。你们试着站在我的立场想。

每次听你们说 谁谁谁约你们出去，而且是在我面前问我身边的人就偏偏不叫我， 我的感受是如何？连我的男朋友都约了，我站在旁边听的人是怎么想？何况我们都是认识的。不是我偏激，可是就是心里很不好受~我憋了很久，无处可倾诉，我只好写在这里。

大家都会说我很敏感想太多，我承认，可是我会喜欢先往坏处想因为这样当事情真的发生时我就不会太意外。如果什么都想得太美好，当事情发生时就会接受不了事实和打击。我渴望的友情是非常纯真，不想牵扯任何私人因素和男女之间的感情。我喜欢一切简简单单。

我的block的一个女生每一次见到我就来作弄我，而且是很过分。那天还拉我的头发。我觉得她很irritating。可是我每次向人倾诉，大家都只会说不要管她。可是我已经尽量避开她，她总是会逮到机会来欺负我。每个人都只会自己着想，从不站在别人的立场去判断去感受。我这些感觉好想跟他说，可是我不能说，我怕他会反感会很烦，而且他也只会说不要理她。可是谁可以代替我一天去试试看这个感觉，被她欺负的感觉很不好受，每次我听到她的名字我都会发抖，我不知道为什么我怕她。可是我就是很害怕她来弄我。她的眼神和她男朋友的刁难我都是在输的位置。我可以忍受她多久？我们住在同一个地方，很难避免。我恨她。每次跟朋友诉苦，多数都不会回答或者换话题换得很快，让我感觉我不是真心被关心的。

每天做rag做得很累，每天的生活都一样没有变化。我想家，越来越想家。我想念妈咪住的菜肴。我突然很佩服某个人，他现在在干吗？那次事件后，他是怎么熬过来？他现在过得好吗？我不敢想象如果我是一个人的话会是怎么样~他做到了，虽然之前带给我不少麻烦和困扰可是我打从心里真心祝福他，因为我不配，我无法给他幸福，我给不了他完整的爱情，我的心只能住一个人，我真的很对不起他，但是我真的不是故意的，我也没料到现在会是这样的结局。我也不知道我的未来会是怎样，我算是对自己没信心吧，觉得我不deserved被爱得很深。所以现在的爱情生活，我真的是改变了很多，因为过去我对别人造成的伤害所以现在我学会怎样去爱一个人，怎样去迁就和互相体谅。说真的，只要对方开心幸福我觉得我这样的牺牲算是值得了。

我只想简简单单快快乐乐地过每一天，我不想要我的生活被任何人牵着走。可是我知道已经没有办法回头。因为我是人，有血有泪有感情。天空现在正下着雨，下了很久的雨，好像在诉说着我今天的感受。我不相信任何人，我只可以相信我自己。只有我自己不会伤害自己也不会背叛自己。当然，我最相信的就是我的家人。最爱最爱最爱的是家人，没有别人了。我不想再傻乎乎地放开胸怀去付出一切为一个我不知道将来会怎样的感情或者友情。我不想我简简单单想法会被这一切或者将来可能会发生的打击而变成一个复杂而且悲哀的女人。

我只想要快乐。希望那女人不要再来骚扰我不要再欺负我了。

猜不透 I could not figure it out

猜不透
你最近时好时坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
让试探为彼此的心上了锁

猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸
是真的 是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果忽冷忽热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已经不想追求
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

Collapsing

How to hold back my tears? I m trying...
我很痛苦~怎么办？
我要怎么去承担这一切？
我要怎么去面对？

伪装很辛苦~不想让家人担心~
在爸妈面前一直要强颜欢笑
很怕下一秒眼泪就会掉下
不敢再逗留家里多几天，很怕被家人发觉
一个人在这里一直胡思乱想，我过得很不好，真的很不好
爱一个人可以很幸福但越是幸福就越是害怕失去
他曾说过“dun worry, no matter what happen, I'll always by ur side"
也会在忙碌了一整天没有见到我然后sms说只想告诉我他想我。。。
很美好的回忆，我会永远记在心里
我还是爱你的

Friendship Forever

最近都因为分房间的事情懊恼，唉。。终于明白很多事情不是自己希望的就能够如愿。之前我们还很天真地以为可以一起住在同一楼。把一切都想得很美好。但是毕竟事实是残酷的。终究还是以分数的高低来安排。分数高就能有权利主宰一切的安排。虽然很不甘愿，但我也没办法，只能忍气吞声地接受事实。我知道我的分数很低，但是分数低就没有权利开口发表我的想法吗？朋友对我来说是非常重要。


其实还蛮生气为何我的sport得到那么不理想的分数。我对sport的付出比对comm的付出还要多，多了很多很多倍，可是分数却是comm给的一半。我参加了5个commitments而且多数都是major,只有一个是minor。我感觉我时间和精神上的付出得到的却不是我想要的结果。其实她们都已经在心里分好了每一层该住的人了，不是吗？那么还需要我们来开会干吗？我感觉我只是去听被派到哪一层楼而已。


凯佳，我知道你因为我们4个好朋友无法住在一起而感到内疚和难过。但是说真的，我们并不怪你，因为很多东西不是你想要这样就可以如愿以偿。我们都很开心因为你是真心打从心里宝我们当好姐妹好朋友。今天凌晨3.15收到你的信息，我看了很感动也很激动。我无法再入眠。你们也知道，我曾经失去一段对我来说很重要很宝贵的友情，而且是因为爱情而失去。现在的我不希望再重蹈覆辙。我不想因为爱情而失去可贵的友情。我希望可以balance得很好。凯佳，你在信息里提到会跟我们比较好会想要跟我们住是因为我们比较单纯没有心机，跟我们在一起比较自在比较开心。我看到这一段我的眼泪就在眼睛里打转，有股想要哭的感觉。本来我的心情平复了可是却还是忍不住感动了。我觉得我这个人很情绪化。也很sentimental。我可以为了很小的事情而感动或者情绪波动。因为你们对我来说都是重要的人。也许偶尔我在你们面前情绪失控，或者得罪你们的地方，我希望你们可以原谅我。我这个人精神大条，有时候得罪了人讲错了话都不知道。真的希望你们明白。友情是一件很简单的事情。并不需要特地或故意去制造一些假象。虽然不能住在一起，但是也只有两层楼的差别。就像现在的我，可以为了朋友几乎常常搭电梯到三楼和她们一起洗澡聊天。旁人看起来好像很白痴，可是对我来说一点都不费神，一点也不麻烦。以后你可以常来找我们啦。我们这楼应该是很清静的。哈哈。别忘了我们的秘密基地，还有约定好要当永远的好朋友和姐妹。我爱你们，真心爱你们。真的希望可以证明友情也是能够到永久的。



其实我很不明白一些人，明明很坚持某一些东西，但是last minute就故意改变主意让大家乱了阵脚。这样很好玩吗？明明可以皆大欢喜，为何就不能大家都让步？我不明白。年纪比较大的人不是比较成熟一些吗？对不 起，请原谅我的愤怒，因为被耍的心情并不好受。我这个人是比较直接的，喜怒哀乐都会浮现在表情里。我不喜欢掩饰自己的心情。做人那么复杂干吗？为什么就不能简单一点？直接把想要的何不想要的说出来很困难吗？看我们白忙了一场，紧张了一番，就感到很爽很开心吗？做人应该是这样的吗？我一直很尊敬的长辈竟然一瞬间让我觉得很失望。


这世上什么种类的人都有。也许我真的还是个未见过世面的小孩。我会努力接受一切残酷的事实。提起勇气走下去。爱情、友情和亲情，我都希望可以把它们持续到永久。因为它们在我心里都是最重要最珍惜的。我爱你们。

Happiness+Tired

It's really unlucky these few days...Y i fall sick? sienz...Got a lot of stuffs have to be done...final exam is around the corner too...no time for me to rest n slack anymore. A few days ago, I just felt sore throat...I thought it was just a trivial prob...but one day later..I began to sneeze...then I got flu...half day later...my coughing started to annoy me...It's really irritating...I can feel my throat damn itchy but I can just do nth~ At night, my headache made me could not go to bed. These annoying illness torture me until now~ I planned to study and do book review today. No more slacking anymore. But I really dun have strength to do anything...just feel wanna lie on the bed for the rest of the day...my stomachache starts to torture me somemore...Am I that unlucky one? sigh~


Haiz...I broke le...$$$$$$$$$$$$$...no money for my 3 meals..I.always borrow from sis/bro...guilty...the expenses here is very high...haiz...a bit regret to waste so much money b4...damn sienz...sometimes feel wanna eat smth delicious...but no money~suddenly feel wanna eat megabite...it is just a simple meal rite? but I still dun have money 2 eat megabite...damn cui la~I tot I have time to do part-time job during my 3 months vacation...but i heard siew wei said we suppose to start costume jobs after our exam...no time to do part-time job le..i wanna give tuition le...wanna earn some pocket money...wanna survive for the rest of this sem!!


The situation seems turn to another way round...It's getting better...I can feel what is he thinking about clearly recently...and he seems know how 2 show his concerns d...It's rarely he done so many things..now he has changed to another person...lolx...very sweet too...but still a bit xx...lolx...nvm~ I also have my own weak point so I still can accept his weak point..really very xx lo...haha~after we got tgt, I can feel I also changed a lot...shud be changed to better? I hope so. No more kid-like behavior! but sometimes I still do it out of my control...However, I have tried to minimise it...hehe~






21st March is his birthday...I prepared some special gifts to him...That was also my first time to make stuffs by myself...cuz I used to BUY presents...seldom do by myself..LAZY! haha...so Bar Yong Lee, u r the lucky one ok! The photos above were the presents for his 22nd birthday~lolx...but the bigger photo frame accidentally fell onto the floor...so there are a few cracks on it...wuwuwuwu..heart pain pain...but nvm la..still can c our face clearly...hahaha~ hope our happiness can last as long as it could be...I hope can be lasting 4ever...Thanks for the happiness u giving to me..I feel very happy these few days...Thanks for doting on me and missing me...Thanks for the everything u done to me...

It's time to do something

I have thought carefully...I could not sleep ytd nite...where is the prob? am I suppose to do smth to improve myself~ I know I m not the perfect gal, there are still a lot of things I need to learn and explore~ As what others think abt me, I'm still a kid...seriously,I quite sad~ I m going to be 21 yrs old soon...going to be an adult...but y? y I'm still a kid? in some sense, I admit, honestly. immature...kid...all of these kind of words keep bothering me...I really wanna to be a better one, to be more mature, I did try my best, but I'm still failed ytd, and I did it without my intention. And I duno I have offend him cuz I said some childish stuffs in front of him. I duno I have agitated him. Am I really that stupid?

Actually, I want him can be happy everyday. I wanna bring joy and happiness to him and not anger. Both of us dun like 2 quarrel. Therefore, one of us will apologise 1st when we met some probs. I admit I m in fault most of the time. But I'm not that kind who dun wish to apologise if I were in fault. Everytime I admit my faults and seriously promised wanna kick these bad habits and also weak points which could be irritated him. when he was angry with me, I seriously care abt it so much. Cuz I cherish him and I wanna both of us get along well in peace. But so far, we din really quarrel actually, only argue over some matter.

I admit I always angry over some trivial matters. I m petty sort. I know my weak points. So I m doing my best to overcome this weak point and hope can be a better one FOR HIM. Love, is not a game. Since I have decided to take this boat, I will do my best to make myself safe in this boat forever. cuz keep changing the boat is quite tiring . He makes me feel wanna spend the rest of life with him. I know I say smth like this is really very stupid and 天真, but I really have this intention. He lights up my life. He makes me lead a different life. I never thought I could be not being pampered anymore. I never thought I willingly to sacrifice smth just for him. I'm always the passive one. But I will do smth special for him of my own accord. Love someone seriously can make myself and even him happy. When doing smth for the one u love, u won't feel sen fu but happy. cuz i m enjoying in it.

Recently, there are a lot of ppl falling in love...hahaha..actually I'm very happy to c them either having crush on someone or starting to be couple...or aimei-ing...haha...it's quite enjoyable rite guys? hahaha...I know u well...actually it's quite good to have such things happened. It brings different surprises or emotion to someone. And it also bring qi dai for u rite...it's quite good. I really hope everyone can get their own happiness. I like 2 know ppl's love stories and even how are their progresses? Hope there are getting much more good news in Sheares Hall! Good luck to u guys and girls la~No matter what, I support u k? Good frenz^.^

I m sick...sienz...cuz mid-term is coming! but nvm..it's not serious anyway...just headache and stomachahe...maybe sleep too much or sleeping disorder? not sure...but my head very painful today..and i was alone in my room...sigh...nobody I can go to...cuz many ppl were outside..but thanks to zuojin cuz gave me some pills and also dapao lunch for me...but anyway, I din eat the medicine..cuz I hate the bitter taste! It's making me unbearable when I put the pill inside my mouth><" I spent the whole day alone..almost la..not really alone..he is busy today.. But he still find me when he is free, even though it's only one minute for resting, he was still come to c me and went back to carry on his works. I feel blessful actually even though some unhappy things happened...but I know we will try our best to overcome those trivial probs..shud be trivial rite.. It's really not easy 2 maintain a relationship...It's a truth for everyone and every relationships..so I swear I wanna kick my bad habits and also eliminate my childish thinking asap otherwise our prob is still exist. I m the prob actually. I m not a good gal. Dunno how 2 spare a thought for bf...But I know I m improving...hehe..quite happy I can improve myself...I always wanna to be a princess but I know this kind of things won't happen in real life. sometimes we need to face the reality. cannot let myself keep indulging in the fantasy. ya, it's time for me to do smth for others and fu chu rite...

another thing I wanna mention is..YeeVoon, thanks for accompanying me when I was down and I need someone by my side... sometimes those pieces of advices u gave me I seriously appreciate them... Frenship is also another relationship we need to cherish...it's also not easy to maintain a frenship too..I have a lot of frens but there are really just a few good bossom frens...知己难寻啊...And 'Hiroko', try to pull urself up asap k...I worry about u these few days...stop brooding over it k...there are always a bunch of nice guys waiting for u...lolx...Haiz...my mid-term test is around the corner, I will do my best to sit for the tests. honestly, I m very 'bia' these few days...keep mugging...no time 2 watch dramas also...wuwuwu..sienz...cuz i feel sinful if I din study for the whole day... too tired...I have to replenish my energy! and make myself more healthy...i jog recently...yeevoon and also my dear acc me jogging..it's miserable when I m jogging but I feel good after I have finished jogging...I wanna keep on making my life healthy! Say no to PANDA eyes!!!